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Monday, January 25, A.D. 2010
The Onion on Abortion

After my last several posts about the March for Life, allow me to offer you some morbid comic relief from The Onion. Of course, no one can bring humor to the abortion debate with tact, but there are clever ways to go about it—and The Onion nails it. For a satirical company that clearly orients itself toward the metropolitan, college educated Left, I find it to be incredibly subtle and smart as it mocks social issues. As with The Simpsons and South Park, I marvel at its ability to preach truth to the blind while simutaneously making them laugh.

The first time that I remember encountering the abortion debate in America’s Finest News Source was in the Point / Counterpoint section eleven years ago. Read it; it’s brilliantly funny and it wonderfully undermines the thoughtless dogma of the abortion rights crowd with humor—which makes them unwittingly receptive to hear what they often refuse to hear:

Point: Life Begins At Conception
By Marilyn Brewster

Life begins at the moment of conception. To say otherwise is not only to deny the word of God, but to defy science. An abortion takes the life of a living person, whether the procedure occurs in the first week of pregnancy or the last.

Some say abortion merely destroys the “potential” for life. Yet there is no point during the entire nine-month gestation period when the developing fetus is fundamentally different from the child that is ultimately born. A child in the embryonic stage may not have the physical appearance of a newborn baby, but the genetic material that will determine that child’s sex, hair color and eye color is present from the time he or she is what a pro-abortion advocate would rather you look at as “a mass of undifferentiated cells.”

Medical research shows that a baby’s heart begins beating by Day 25, and electroencephalographic evidence demonstrates that a baby’s brain is already functioning by the end of the sixth week. Still, neither of these checkpoints in early fetal development acceptably mark the beginning of life, for they are just points along a continuum of development—a continuum that starts the moment the egg is fertilized.

So how can the government dictate at what point an abortion can be performed? How can anyone say that at 24 weeks and 6 days, a child is not a viable human being, but at 25 weeks it is? The answer is simple: It’s a human being from the start!

An unborn child is not part of a woman’s body. It is a separate being, albeit one that depends on his or her mother for protection. Is there anyone who would argue that a mother cannot be held accountable for the life and death of an infant in her care? By the same token, a mother should be held responsible for the life of a child from the point of conception—the point at which life begins.

Counterpoint: Life Begins At 40!
By Irene Hasselbeck

I’m sorry, but I must strongly disagree with Ms. Brewster. Life begins at 40!

For anyone out there about to turn the big four-oh and dreading it, let me assure you: I myself just hit the milestone earlier this year and, like a bottle of fine wine, I’m only getting better with age. As far as I’m concerned, 40 is when life really begins! . . .
(Read the rest. )

We can now see The Onion News Network cover the issue in a similar way that superficially makes fun of laws that require abortion providers to offer sonograms to women before they perform abortions. However, the truth—the awful truth—gets through in an absurd parody of the even more absurd reality.

I am always surprised by them.

Posted by Joseph on Monday, January 25, Anno Domini 2010
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