Like most Americans growing up with too much time and leisure, I made several “favorites” lists. Feeling the need to designate a favorite bird, I chose the puffin. You probably know those obnoxious people who want to be different—they listen to indie music, watch foreign films, and generally act like snobby arses. Well, I have always been one of those folks, and my favorite bird could not be an obvious choice like a bald eagle, hummingbird, mockingbird, or cardinal. No, I fell in love with puffins.
Why are puffins so great? Well, they are adorable. They are cute in that clumsy, penguin-like way, but they can actually fly—though not admirably well. Like penguins, they are graceful and agile in the water. They live on rocky cliffs near the sea in colder regions, and everyone knows that mountains and water make for the most aesthetically pleasing landscape. Puffins have good taste . . .
Except with breakfast. See, puffins have their own cardboard-tasting healthy cereal from Barbara’s Bakery that white people eat. It is not actually that bad; you just have to get used to the texture. I actually have come to like it—and it was much easier than the feat that I achieved when I developed a taste for Marmite after several years of struggle.
Visit the Audubon Society’s page for Project Puffin, and consider helping the little guys out. You can also learn all about puffins there.
If conservation sites are too stuffy for you, you can always visit Puffinpalooza.
Thank God for the puffins.