Wednesday, January 4, A.D. 2012

Red Pandas in the Winter

Happy birthday to my brother, Adam! Many blessings to him for the new year!

My brother’s favorite animal is a red panda. So, in honor of him, I offer you:

They are beautiful creatures.

Update: If you share my brother’s love for Ailurus fulgens, you may be interested in the Red Panda Network.

Posted by Joseph on Wednesday, January 4, A.D. 2012
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Monday, November 28, A.D. 2011

Electronic Cowboy

I offer you this charming video to which Auster linked that will brighten your day. Watch cattle follow the lead of a remote controlled toy:

Being a greenhorn, I have never actually seen cattle herding in action. I wonder what sort of cattle behavior the fellow who made this video was exploiting or how he habituated the cattle to respond to the toy.

Posted by Joseph on Monday, November 28, A.D. 2011
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Monday, November 21, A.D. 2011

Biblical Zoo

Given my love of all God’s critters—well, minus cockroaches, mosquitoes, and houseflies—I thought that it would be good to visit Jerusalem’s Biblical Zoo while in Israel. There is so much to do in the Holy Land that I wondered if it was worth visiting a zoo, given time restraints. However, I have visited zoos in Canada, Russia, Austria, France, Britain, and Germany; I simply like zoos. Moreover, Jerusalem’s zoo focuses on fauna mentioned in the scriptures. And it has an ark!

Posted by Joseph on Monday, November 21, A.D. 2011
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Friday, October 28, A.D. 2011

True Confessions of a Gardening Addict

A few weeks ago, I read Jeremy Wayne Lucas’ “True Confessions of a Gardening Addict” on the best gardening site, Dave’s Garden. Lucas humorously narrates how he traveled down the dark path of obsessive compulsive gardening, whereupon he developed a messianic complex toward the unwanted, clearanced plants at his local home improvement store. Lucas writes:

I also began to sense that the garden center managers shared my sincere respect for the life of the plants. We all realized that, despite some inept care, the plants were, for the most part, completely recoverable and could go on to full, happy lives. With what would probably be diagnosed by my psychiatrist as a hero-ideation complex with more than a touch of megalomania, I justified my compulsion to haul off every available cell pack by believing myself the rescuer of these otherwise doomed plants in the way that Schindler had been the emancipator of Jews during the reign of the Nazis. It became my deific duty to take every available plant (though I must admit that just after December 31, I was less than thrilled to haul off about four hundred pitiful, purloined poinsettias). I was especially overjoyed when the time came each month for the out-of-flower orchid plants to be discarded as cells. The orchids seemed like a special reward for my devoted service. My heart would also leap at some of the exotic shrubs, plumerias and other tropicals, shelves of “Angel Brand” mini-plants, and cultivar roses that came my way. I processed thousands of perennials, tens of thousands of annuals, and filled my garden to overflowing whenever I had a moment to spare from the triaging and tending.

I merrily empathize with Lucas, though I do not think that I have nearly so virulent a strain pollicis viridis.

Posted by Joseph on Friday, October 28, A.D. 2011
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Monday, October 17, A.D. 2011

Gecko Eaten by Ants

You may find this a bit morbid, but it testifies well to nature’s efficiency.

O Lord, how manifold are your works!

Posted by Joseph on Monday, October 17, A.D. 2011
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Wednesday, September 21, A.D. 2011

Holy Bees!

Knowing my love for bees, my brother Aaron sent me a story yesterday from the Vatican Information Service: “Bees for the Pontifical Farms at Castelgandolfo”:

As part of its initiatives to mark the Day for the Protection of Creation, the Italian agricultural organisation “Coldiretti” has given Benedict XVI eight beehives containing more than 500,000 bees. The beehives will be kept at the pontifical farm of Castelgandolfo where they will be used in pollination and the production of honey (some 280 kilos a year).

Coldiretti explained that bees play a vital role in the planet’s ecosystem and their disappearance would have disastrous consequences for health and the environment: a third of human food production depends on crops pollinated by insects, eighty percent of which are bees.

The “Campagna Amica” Association will provide technical assistance to the pontifical farms to oversee the protection of the bees and the production of honey. Castelgandolfo is considered to be a model farm because it unites traditional production methods with modern technology. It has 25 dairy cows, 300 hens and 60 cockerels as well as an ancient olive grove producing three thousand litres of oil a year, an orchard of apricot and peach trees and a greenhouse of ornamental flowers.

I suppose that it is obvious that the bees are Apis mellifera ligustica, or Italian honey bees. However, maybe they are Apis mellifera mellifera, German bees, in honor of the pope.

Posted by Joseph on Wednesday, September 21, A.D. 2011
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Thursday, August 25, A.D. 2011

Chicken Sexuality

I have never understood chickens’ reproductive system, even though I have been curious about it for years and I always had access to a library. However, I have finally rectified the situation by the magic of the internet, and I learnt some fascinating facts. Did you know that avian sperm remains viable at body temperature? That is why a cock has no, well, you understand. The papilla, which is sometimes called a penis though it is not one, dispenses but does not penetrate. The testes are internal, as well. Moreover, the hen has sperm host glands that can keep sperm for two weeks. I thought only insects had such abilities. I also discovered that the “blood spots” that you sometimes find on yolks have nothing to do with the developing chicken. Rather, when the yolk leaves the ovary, it sometimes takes some of the blood vessels that surround the yolk with it. I also read that the hen mobilizes half of her body’s calcium from her bones to make egg shells, though I am not sure what that means. I surmise that a hen has a certain amount of calcium in her bloodstream that can be used in the shell making process, but perhaps she supplements this with calcium from her bones that she can replenish during periods of rest. That seems like a bad idea, but I am neither God nor a biologist. I suppose that it is an efficient use of resources.

I always suspected that chicken sex was cool. If you are similarly curious, the University of Kentucky has instructive sheets for the female reproductive system and the male reproductive system.

Posted by Joseph on Thursday, August 25, A.D. 2011
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Wednesday, August 17, A.D. 2011

Shellac

Last month, my vegetarian brother and his vegetarian girlfriend informed me about shellac. Apparently, the coat on most shiny candy is due to shellac, a resin secreted by the female lac bug, Kerria lacca. Shellac is often listed as confectioner’s glaze, which I sadly found on the ingredients list of Ferrara Pan’s Boston Baked Beans. Adam told me that shellac is used to make Jelly Belly jellybeans smooth and pretty. I looked them up online, and the company uses shellac and beeswax in their candy making. Am I to give up beautiful candy? Candy corn, can I forsake thee?

I have mixed feelings. I do not object to beeswax or honey because I do not have a problem with consuming animal products that do not necessarily result in critter killing. Of course, the practice of beekeeping invariably kills some bees—some of those workers will not get out of the way when one is working with the hive’s frames. Yet, that killing is accidental. Avoiding honey for such a reason would be like refusing to drink wine because occasionally vineyard workers may die of heatstroke. Is shellac, then, like honey?

Not quite. The lac bugs form shellac as protective barriers and corridors along the trees whose sap they eat. When men harvest the shellac, they invariably kill many of the lac bugs. In a way, shellac is like honey and beeswax, but the collateral damage is practically much higher.

On the other hand, lac bugs are scale insects. If you have never battled scales on your houseplants, then perhaps you do not realize the genocidal hatred that they may induce. I hate scales that colonize my poor, defenseless scheffleras. Their resin secretions cause fits of anger and battles of horticultural oil. I know that I should not hold the whole family of scales responsible, but I am tempted to hate lacs conveniently. Maybe, I should munch a few handfuls of Whoppers before I carry out my periodic massacres just to add insult to injury death!

Aside from my fiendish dislike of scales, the hypocrisy of my lacto-ovo vegetarianism tempers my willingness to give up shellac. Ideally, I can eat unfertilized chicken eggs and enjoy milk and other dairy products without such nourishment’s requiring any death. As a matter of fact, though, the egg and dairy industries involve the untimely deaths of chickens and cattle—almost all males and then the older, less productive females. For such reasons, I often consider becoming a vegan. I periodically go months on a vegan diet without much trouble, but I would worry about the long term effects of continual veganism. And I love cheese. A lot.

I have not decided what to do about shellac. I am still working my way through the Boston Baked Beans that I received in my Easter basket. After that, I shall probably avoid shellac candy but not fanatically abstain . . . somewhat like an American Jew’s form of keeping kosher.

Posted by Joseph on Wednesday, August 17, A.D. 2011
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Monday, August 15, A.D. 2011

Goldfish Survivors

Last week, I read one of those “heartwarming” stories for which I am a total sucker. Vicky Thornley from Christchurch had not been able to return to her office for four and a half months because the damage from the February earthquake was so extensive. Safety workers were finally able to escort the woman to her office in the damaged district around High Street at the beginning of July. There, to everyone’s amazement, they found two of the office goldfish alive in the reception area aquarium. The fish had outlasted an earthquake, building damage, and one hundred thirty-four days without food or the electricity that ran the filter: “New Zealand goldfish survive 134 days without food.” The fish lived on the tank’s plant life and possibly threw a Donner Party. The survivors, Shaggy and Daphne, have since joined Thornley’s son’s aquarium.

Posted by Joseph on Monday, August 15, A.D. 2011
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Monday, July 18, A.D. 2011

Weed

I have found yet another useful site in my neverending quest to identify the flora that visits my yard: Weed Science Society of America. Tocqueville was right; Americans will form an association for every conceivable object of interest. The Weed Society has some useful resources for plant identification, but they also wax nerdy, as science folks typically do. Mark your calendars; the W.S.S.A. will conduct its WeedOlympics at the University of Tennessee at the end of the month. The general student body at that state school may expect something rather different, though, when they hear of the event.

“When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.” (I do not know the source of this wisdom, but it is rather true.)

Posted by Joseph on Monday, July 18, A.D. 2011
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