Saturday, December 27, A.D. 2008

Godly Grammar

Were there ever a grammatical world with an equivalent history to ours of Christian German philosophy, I suppose that a Georg Periphrastic Friedrich Run-on would have theorized about the Ablative Absolute.

Yes, I am indeed that corny . . .

Posted by Joseph on Saturday, December 27, Anno Domini 2008
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Saturday, December 13, A.D. 2008

About Last Night

I have praised South Park’s always irreverent, sometimes tasteless, but often insightful humor before. I may not be a “South Park Conservative,” but I am a conservative who appreciates South Park.

In the spirit of spoofing pop culture, ridiculing American politics, and offering a refreshing break from the stench of the campaign, South Park’s election episode, “About Last Night,” features an Ocean’s Eleven / Mission Impossible style team of the Obamas, McCain, Palin, and other stock characters who attempt to steal the Hope Diamond from the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. The entire campaign by McCain and Obama was a part of the heist’s strategy so that one of them would have access to a secret tunnel for the president that travels below the museum. You can watch the episode on South Park Studios (quite rated R). My favorite part occurs when Sarah Palin qua Trinity leaves her concession speech, though the portrayals of South Park’s McCain and Obama supporters are hilarious.

Posted by Joseph on Saturday, December 13, Anno Domini 2008
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Tuesday, December 9, A.D. 2008

Abandonia

If you miss those simpler times back in the early 1990’s when you could play DOS based games that would not crash your computer or require weeks of your life to win, Abandonia is the site for you. Of questionable legality, it offers reviews and downloads of “abandonware”—software no longer sold or, it seems, legally maintained.

You can play some of the games on Windows, but most of them require a free program called DOSBox. DOSBox is very easy to use, but it can be tricky to learn if you have never used DOS, as the program’s instructions are not user-friendly. Basically, as I understand it, the program runs an imitation of DOS in Windows.

Once you initiate the program, you have to mount the folder from your hard drive where you have saved the game that you wish to play so that the game thinks that its folder is C:. (If the game uses a CD-ROM disk, as well, you just copy the CD files into another folder and then mount the folder as if it were a D: drive).

For instance, I like Lords of the Realm, which runs off a CD. I actually own the CD, but I play it still in DOSBox. I copied the CD into one folder (which I named lordscddisk, and I put it in a “games” folder on my C: drive) and I placed the installed game files into another (named lordscd). Then, I mounted both folders. At the prompt in DOSBox, which starts out so . . .

Z:\>
Z:\>mount d c:/games/lordscddisk -t cdrom

The “-t cdrom” is DOSBox language that tells the program to run the virtual drive (d) like a CD-ROM. Then, I type . . .

Z:\>mount c c:/games/lordscd
Z:\>c:
C:\>lords

Depending on the game, the execution command changes. You can easily tell it from looking at the files, though. It will have an .exe extension. There may be set-up execution files that were used to adjust sound devices and such in the old systems. I typically ignore them.

Also, in the DOSBox window, you have to adjust the Cpu cycle speed—3000 is the default. Depending on the game, you will want to increase this number by pressing Control-F12 (while Control-F11 decreases it). For more demanding games, I choose 16,000.

To make the DOSBox screen monitor wide, you hit Alt-Enter. Hitting Alt-Enter again reduces the screen again, and so forth. Occassionally, the color scheme messes up, but hitting Alt-Enter twice restores the right colors.

DOSBox is quite simple, and it allows you to play old games on your new computer. It is a useful tool for Abandonia.

Some of my favorite games available from Abandonia that you may wish to try are:

Anvil of Dawn

Castles

Castles II - Siege and Conquest

Celtic Tales - Balor of the Evil Eye

Civilization

Civilization II

Colonization

Conquests of the Longbow - The Legend of Robin Hood

Darklands

Hidden Agenda

Kings Bounty

Lords of the Realm

Master of Magic

Pilgrims’ Quest

I am likely leaving many out. In future posts, I may review some games. Until then, the links take you to Abandonia’s pages on the games, with descriptions, screen shots, commentaries, and other resources. Have fun.

Posted by Joseph on Tuesday, December 9, Anno Domini 2008
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Wednesday, November 26, A.D. 2008

Bolt

Yesterday, we went to see Disney’s charming new movie, Bolt, down on the Levee. One of Andrew’s pop culture guru friends recommended it, and I decided to give it a chance. It was surprisingly good—entertaining, funny, and warm-hearted without being saccharine. Maybe, some folks at Disney learnt a few things over the years from their relationship with Pixar.

If you are a dog lover, you will love the movie. It speaks the language, so to speak.

I was also pleased that a significant little portion of the movie takes place in my home State of Ohio. Indeed, I would say that several sequences in Bolt are patriotic—as our new Homeward Bound gang travels across the continent, we Americans watch something of a pride parade of our land and traditions.

There is a smattering of kiddy pop candy throughout the film but mainly in the opening sequence, especially with references to Inspector Gadget (Penny! Couldn’t they at least have made her Peggy?). Geeks and lovers of all things heroic will find the hamster rather amusing, but in that slightly embarrassing and shaming Seinfeld sort of way—when, against our wishes, we realize that there is a little George in us all.

One small element in the film that I appreciated a lot was the pigeons. The realness of the pigeons’ movement and mannerisms shocked and delighted me—one of the ancient formulae for comedy, and Bolt‘s pigeons pull it off well. Of course, such lifelike depictions will become commonplace, and future generations will no longer “get” it in the same way; no one gasped after 1939 when red shoes appeared on the silver screen. Nonetheless, I loved the pigeons. I also liked how the three sets of pigeons stereotypify New Yorkers, Angelenos, and Southerners—wonderful.

So, if you have not yet seen it and if you are not currently boycotting Disney for one reason or another, take the family to see Bolt. You’ll enjoy it.

Posted by Joseph on Wednesday, November 26, Anno Domini 2008
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Saturday, November 22, A.D. 2008

Carpool

Saturday Night Live has always been an inconsistent show. Every year, people complain that it used to be so funny back when XYZ were on the cast. Yet, back when XYZ were on the cast, folks were saying the same thing about UVW, and so on. I remember reading someone’s explanation for this phenomenon—perhaps it was Jonah Goldberg—but whoever it was wrote that skit shows like S.N.L. are usually not very funny, though some of each episode’s skits may make you grin. However, every now and then, one of the skits will be golden, and it is those hilarious few that are memorable. Hence, whenever we consider a particular era in S.N.L. history, we consider the great skits that come readily to our minds, judge them to be representative of the whole era, and thus conclude that the era was better than our current era. Really, the analysis is simply Descartes and Hume applied to our estimation of comedy television.

Of the current cast, I think that Kristen Wiig is brilliant. She deserves to be in N.B.C.‘s comedienne hall of fame. One of my favorite skits of hers is the following “Carpool” skit with Alec Baldwin, a political loon but nonetheless a chap with great comic talent.

Of the various types of humor, I like the insightful and mocking the most (just ahead of the absurd). Our hypersensitive, unforgiving, and socially awkward age in which people seek gratification from being offended deserves such mockery. Speaking of which, Stuff White People Like has a delightful entry on “Being Offended”—funny and oh so horribly true.

Posted by Joseph on Saturday, November 22, Anno Domini 2008
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Wednesday, November 19, A.D. 2008

A Cappella Geekness

Andrew forwarded me the following video. It is simultaneously impressive, ridiculous, embarrassing, and entertaining. Moosebutter, Corey Vidal, and the hordes of nerds who share my fascination and shame . . .  Just how many “Get a life” eye rolls do the Gentiles have for us?!?!

I wonder what John Williams thinks of it?

Posted by Joseph on Wednesday, November 19, Anno Domini 2008
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Monday, November 17, A.D. 2008

All Apologies

Last week in the Old Graying Whore, Henry Alford’s “All Apologies” spoke for everyone who is concerned about the dismal etiquette of contemporary American society. It is an entertaining read, and I empathize with the fellow. Given the bell curve in human populations, I do not expect everyone whom I meet to be intelligent, interesting, and virtuous. However, the vast majority of people are capable of standard politeness and the necessary button-pushing competence to accomplish the jobs for which they were hired. Why is it that so many fail the minimal requirements? More importantly, why is it that we tolerate such behavior?

For more laughs in the critical vein, I should mention Florence King, who may be one of the most witty wenches in American history. Unfortunately, I cannot find any centralized archive for her writings, but the National Review Online has a small selection available.

Posted by Joseph on Monday, November 17, Anno Domini 2008
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Friday, November 14, A.D. 2008

Digital Conversion Public Service Announcement

In an age where we no longer respect our elders as we should, this video does not help the culture much. Yet, it is pretty funny:

And the updated one:

Poor old analog . . .

Posted by Joseph on Friday, November 14, Anno Domini 2008
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Thursday, November 6, A.D. 2008

After the Election

The Onion News Network has quite a funny story up, “Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters to Realize How Empty Their Lives Are”:

I have had the misfortune to know many young starry-eyed utopians—we’ll call them campaign volunteers—who have made politics their religion. It is sad, really, that human beings can pervert their yearning for meaning and transcendence into such a hollow pursuit.

Not as funny, but not bad, is their “Voting Machines Elect One of Their Own As President”:

It made me grin.

Posted by Joseph on Thursday, November 6, Anno Domini 2008
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Tuesday, October 28, A.D. 2008

The Onion News Network

The Onion is consistently the funniest site online, but perhaps my taste for its humor has something to do with its utter lack of social taboo and its unrefined taste coupled with rather insightful satire. Whenever I bring up my admiration for low-brow cultural fixtures such as The Simpsons or South Park, I invariably hear shock, disappointment, and bewilderment along the lines of, “How could someone like you like something like that?” I attribute those statements to ignorance of the shows—for they really are insightful entertainment. They mock what ought to be mocked, and in the process, they make some profound observations.

For instance, South Park has a cheeky episode on Mormons, “All About the Mormons?,” in which an L.D.S. family moves into South Park. They are typical Mormons—friendly, helpful, cheerful folks . . . with kooky religious ideas. The episode presents the Mormons in an exagerrated but nonetheless realistic way; it matches my own experience with Mormons over the years very well, right down to its “Family Home Evening.” It explores the peculiarities of L.D.S. doctrine, but, moreover, it explains Mormon success. A religion with absurd theological teachings can survive, sustain a society, and even grow in other societies because it prescribes and fosters sensible and good family life practices. Most people do not really care about theological truth, but most everyone is a social creature who values family, friendship, loyalty, and love. The episode is spot on, and you can watch it online (rated R) at South Park Studios.

Anyway, The Onion started a video service, The Onion News Network, last year, and it holds up to the print version’s hallmark for the “Oh, wow” factor. I’ll post some of may favorite videos in the future, but here are some timely ones for the election, “Precocious Youngster Sells Cookies to Buy Attack Ad,”

and “Portrayal of Obama As Elitist Hailed As Step Forward for African Americans”:

The Daily Show cannot hold a candle . . .

Posted by Joseph on Tuesday, October 28, Anno Domini 2008
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