For Friday, I offer you this brilliant public service announcement:
All that is missing is a heroic depiction of the wirelessly connected patriotic man.
Drudge consistently links to the better side of humanity. Consider “Man calls 911 after being shortchanged in crack deal.” You may listen to the 911 recording, where a rather polite Dexter White explains his unfortunate situation to the emergency dispatcher. It is not clear to me why the police arrested White for disorderly conduct. He was only trying to address his grievances in a lawful way.
For Friday the thirteenth, here is a charming piece from The Galactic Empire Times: “Obi-Wan Kenobi Is Dead, Vader Says.” Some highlights:
In a late-night appearance in the East Room of the Imperial Palace, Lord Vader declared that “justice has been done” as he disclosed that agents of the Imperial Army and stormtroopers of the 501st Legion had finally cornered Kenobi, one of the leaders of the Jedi rebellion, who had eluded the Empire for nearly two decades. Imperial officials said Kenobi resisted and was cut down by Lord Vader’s own lightsaber. He was later dumped out of an airlock. . . .
Obi-Wan Kenobi ’s demise is a defining moment in the stormtrooper-led fight against terrorism, a symbolic stroke affirming the relentlessness of the pursuit of those who turned against the Empire at the end of the Clone Wars. What remains to be seen, however, is whether it galvanizes Kenobi’s followers by turning him into a martyr or serves as a turning of the page in the war against the Rebel Alliance and gives further impetus to Emperor Palpatine to step up Stormtrooper recruitment.
In an earlier statement issued to the press, Kenobi boasted that striking him down could make him “more powerful than you could possibly imagine.” . . .
When the end came for Kenobi, he was found not in the remote uncharted areas of Wild Space and the Unknown Regions, where he has long been presumed to be sheltered, but in a massive compound about an hour’s drive west from the Tatooine capital of Bestine. He had been living under the alias “Ben” Kenobi for some time. . . .
Kenobi and a group of his followers were eventually captured while fleeing the system, and taken aboard the Death Star, which was in the midst of surveying the recent environmental disaster on Alderaan.
My friend Andrew noted that the comments are worth reading. His favorite is a gem:
I love how the liberal rag GET keeps referring our Defense Star as the “Death Star”. Take that propaganda back to Courescant, Nerfherder!!!
There is even contraband spam in the comments. It’s wonderful. I love nerds.
Ben Craw reports on the death of that one guy:
Of course, such unintentional association betrays hatred, bigotry, and racism. Americans should all be ashamed. To atone for their regressive sin, they must re-elect Barry Soetero to the American Presidency.
My brother Aaron sent me a link to the following charmer by Adam Watson, “Dr. Seuss Does Star Wars.” It combines two childish worlds that I happen to love.
Mr. Watson’s site is titled The Mighty Adam. I bet that our other brother Adam would rather fancy that moniker.
Concerning matters much less exciting than Whos and tauntauns, I attended my fifth European Union embassy open house this past Saturday. I was happy to see that interest in the event does not seem to have waned; people continue to visit. I spent most of my time this year at the British Embassy. The Brits gave out free sturdy shopping sacks to visitors, and the fellow in front of me in the entrance line was holding an Irish sack. An embassy lady who was passing out the bags with the Union Jack on them put his Irish sack in the British bag, saying that such made him look more respectable. I laughed and enjoyed her shameless display of lighthearted nationalism. The poor woman would have probably been jailed had she been back in the mother country for making such a jingoist joke. Such is the sorry state of Albion today.
I walked the delightful garden tour there for the third year in a row. Most people quickly walk through, oblivious to the splendid horticultural collection, but I use the opportunity to learn more about gardening. I ask the gardeners many questions, and they happily oblige. It is much easier to learn about the plants in a garden than in a book, and a real garden gives you a much better idea of a particular plant’s character than potted individuals at a nursery. One British plant fact that I learnt was that the daffodil was the flower of Wales. I knew about the English rose, the Scottish thistle, and the Irish shamrock, but I did not know about the Welsh daffodil.
Like years before, I took advantage of engaging many genial Brits, from butlers to military officers to representatives of the various nations of Britain. Of these, I always find the fellows from Northern Ireland the most interesting. I have never been to Ulster, and I am curious about its peculiar history. May they continue to have peace. Anyway, the embassy visit always makes me miss the islands. I love the United Kingdom dearly, and I sincerely wish its people well. Rule, Britannia!