Were there ever a grammatical world with an equivalent history to ours of Christian German philosophy, I suppose that a Georg Periphrastic Friedrich Run-on would have theorized about the Ablative Absolute.
Yes, I am indeed that corny . . .
I have praised South Park’s always irreverent, sometimes tasteless, but often insightful humor before. I may not be a “South Park Conservative,” but I am a conservative who appreciates South Park.
In the spirit of spoofing pop culture, ridiculing American politics, and offering a refreshing break from the stench of the campaign, South Park’s election episode, “About Last Night,” features an Ocean’s Eleven / Mission Impossible style team of the Obamas, McCain, Palin, and other stock characters who attempt to steal the Hope Diamond from the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. The entire campaign by McCain and Obama was a part of the heist’s strategy so that one of them would have access to a secret tunnel for the president that travels below the museum. You can watch the episode on South Park Studios (quite rated R). My favorite part occurs when Sarah Palin qua Trinity leaves her concession speech, though the portrayals of South Park’s McCain and Obama supporters are hilarious.
If you miss those simpler times back in the early 1990’s when you could play DOS based games that would not crash your computer or require weeks of your life to win, Abandonia is the site for you. Of questionable legality, it offers reviews and downloads of “abandonware”—software no longer sold or, it seems, legally maintained.
You can play some of the games on Windows, but most of them require a free program called DOSBox. DOSBox is very easy to use, but it can be tricky to learn if you have never used DOS, as the program’s instructions are not user-friendly. Basically, as I understand it, the program runs an imitation of DOS in Windows.
Once you initiate the program, you have to mount the folder from your hard drive where you have saved the game that you wish to play so that the game thinks that its folder is C:. (If the game uses a CD-ROM disk, as well, you just copy the CD files into another folder and then mount the folder as if it were a D: drive).
For instance, I like Lords of the Realm, which runs off a CD. I actually own the CD, but I play it still in DOSBox. I copied the CD into one folder (which I named lordscddisk, and I put it in a “games” folder on my C: drive) and I placed the installed game files into another (named lordscd). Then, I mounted both folders. At the prompt in DOSBox, which starts out so . . .
Z:\>mount d c:/games/lordscddisk -t cdrom
The “-t cdrom” is DOSBox language that tells the program to run the virtual drive (d) like a CD-ROM. Then, I type . . .
Z:\>mount c c:/games/lordscd
Depending on the game, the execution command changes. You can easily tell it from looking at the files, though. It will have an .exe extension. There may be set-up execution files that were used to adjust sound devices and such in the old systems. I typically ignore them.
Also, in the DOSBox window, you have to adjust the Cpu cycle speed—3000 is the default. Depending on the game, you will want to increase this number by pressing Control-F12 (while Control-F11 decreases it). For more demanding games, I choose 16,000.
To make the DOSBox screen monitor wide, you hit Alt-Enter. Hitting Alt-Enter again reduces the screen again, and so forth. Occassionally, the color scheme messes up, but hitting Alt-Enter twice restores the right colors.
DOSBox is quite simple, and it allows you to play old games on your new computer. It is a useful tool for Abandonia.
Some of my favorite games available from Abandonia that you may wish to try are:
Anvil of Dawn
Castles II - Siege and Conquest
Celtic Tales - Balor of the Evil Eye
Conquests of the Longbow - The Legend of Robin Hood
Lords of the Realm
Master of Magic
I am likely leaving many out. In future posts, I may review some games. Until then, the links take you to Abandonia’s pages on the games, with descriptions, screen shots, commentaries, and other resources. Have fun.